A Potted Winter Magic History
By Colin Semmler
’twas back in Nineteen Ninety Four
When the wizard was asked by a a council-or
To come up with a wiz creation
For a unique Katoomba celebration.
“Let’s festivate Winter in old Katoombah”
But the councilor just said “Humbug-bah,
What a stupid, lunatic idea
That John Ellison must be queer!”
John planned a plan called Winter Magic
“The man is nothing short of tragic”,
Various folks were heard to say
But finally Ellison got his way.
The rumour spread…..it had us in stitches
That the festival was run by …… witches!
Who came from covens down the ridge
In Hazelbrook and Faulconbridge.
Well a wonderful day was had by all,
“Better than the thing in Leura Mall”
Was heard to tell from some old fox
But boy, did we open Pandora’s Box.
There were notes to Gazette from Richard Merrill
Who told them all “The fires of hell’ll
Devour you all if you don’t repent!”
Too late….”their souls were already spent!”
And then there were other religious nutters
Who scattered horse poo in the gutters;
It filled the street with such a smell
We thought we’d really gone to hell!
The council, it was in commotion
For fear the mountians would fall in the ocean
As some biblical scholar of Revelations
Claimed that solstice celebrations
Would anger God, the Queen and Pope
And for all of us there’d be no hope!
And then one year it started to rain
But just before we were washed down the drain
A miracle happened, and wouldn’t you know,
Down came the gentlest flakes of snow.
The entertainments had to be snuffed
But the public had never been so chuffed
And now the nutters were all confessing
That God had finally sent his blessing.
From that year on we were left in peace,
The council, churches and police
Were all excited and came on board
Now that we had the blessing of Lord.
But as we revelled and danced so merrily
There were those who said “It’s all too ferally,
Give me something a little more formal
Or I’ll go back to Lithgow where everyone’s normal!”
Then ArtStreet started, but of course, the prudes
Complained that someone exhibited nudes!
There was even a sculpture…. it was a beaut,
With genitalia made from fruit!
There were no cleaners in the first few years
So the streets were swept by volunteers,
And yes, I was one of the silly bunnies
Who toiled for hours without any monies.
We swept till one or two a.m.
Then some old sage, he said “Ahem,
Don’t you think we’ve reached the day
When BMCC needs to pay
To sweep and tidy up the place?”
“To have volunteers is an utter disgrace,
I’ll speak to an Angel…. his name is Jim”
So now we don’t sweep, thanks to him.
One year it was beyond the pale
When someone forgot to deliver the snail
That was supposed to lead the Grand Parade;
The starting gun was almost delayed
But we got up the street and hey diddle diddle
A cop car appeared fair in the middle.
The cop, she copped a lot abuse
But we soon learned it was no use
Trying to get her out of the way,
She was there and there to stay.
Then we had, by right or wrong,
About two hundred Fallun Gong
Who tried to convert them whose faith was alack
But they upset the locals and weren’t asked back.
Last year, the rumour was round the city
That lesbians took over th’ committee
And the festival was to be all called off!
But at such an idea we all did scoff.
And now we’ve arrived at Magic ‘09
It’ll all be great…. if the weather’s fine!
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